Ruining Me Read online

  “Kane this is my best friend Molly.” I looked at Molly and she smiles and nods at me. She looked at him and brings her hand up in a little wave.

  “Nice to meet you Kane. Sorry to run, but I’ve got to get home.” She steps around us and turns back to me. “I will meet you at your car in the morning. Okay?” I nod okay and then she said what we always used to say when leaving each other. “Great. Love you. Bye.”

  “Love you. Bye.” I say back.

  Kane pull me through the door and shuts it. He looks at the dark foyer and house. He narrows his eyes at me. “Are your parents ever home with you?” I had already told him my parents traveled with their jobs.

  “Not really.” I was normally glad to be alone.

  “You stood me up tonight. Is this going to be a continuing thing with us? You know me always wondering if you’re going to show up or not.”

  “I am so sorry, Molly came over to talk and to be honest it’s been awhile for us. Before I knew it, time had flown and I just forgot.”

  He looked at me and said, “Next time just text me. I couldn’t concentrate tonight and all my sparring partners kicked my ass. Then instead of riding home, I drove straight here. Sweaty as shit and all.” He looked great to me. I step up to kiss him and at the same time my stomach lets out a loud growl. We both laugh.

  “Hungry?” He asked. I nod and smile up at him. “So am I. I was hoping to take you out for a late dinner after the gym.”

  I look at him and ask, “Why don’t I fix us something to eat? How does an omelet sound?”

  “Sounds great to me. Do you care if I grab my stuff and take a shower first?”

  I liked the thought of him using my shower. “Sure. Grab your stuff and I’ll start cooking.”

  He went outside to grab his bag and then followed me to my room. I notice him looking around, but he never said anything. My room was very girly with a pink and white shabby chic theme. Grabbing him a towel, I leave the room. He didn’t try to stop me, but part of me really wished he would have asked me to join him.

  By the time he came back down stairs I had already fixed our omelets and had them ready at the bar. He had changed into a soft pair of blue jeans and plain blue shirt and was now bare foot. He sat down and I couldn’t stop staring at him. He cocked his eye at me and smiled.

  “Like what you see?” He smiles at me and I hand him a bottle of water as I nod my head.

  “Yeah, I guess I do.” He grabs his fork and begins eating.

  “This is really good Jay.”

  “Thanks. My dad used to make the best omelets so I guess I learned from him.”

  We talked more about my parents and then more about his Mom. He really wanted to move her down here with him and Cole, but he wanted to start building her a house first. God, I really love a man who loves his mother.

  “So when are your parents coming home?” I was just sitting there trying not to think about how yummy he looked when he ask that question. Was he asking so he could stay with me tonight?

  “A couple more days.” I swallow hard. He didn’t say anything for a minute and we both finished our food. He stood and grabbed our plates, rinsing them and loading into the dishwasher. I didn’t say anything and just continued to stare at him. He turned towards me and came to stand right in front of me.

  “I’m really tired Jay. Really tired, but not tired enough for you.” He leans down and gently kisses my lips. “Something tells me that this is not the right time for us yet, but I really want to hold you. I’ve got to get a decent night of sleep and I haven’t done that since I met you.” I brought my hand up and ran it over his buzzed hair. It tickled my hand and he closed his eyes.

  “Okay, if you can be super-man, and refrain from touching me, I can be your super-woman.” He laughed at my choice of words.

  “Girl, I think you are more my glowing green rock, but I’m going to try. Let’s go to bed. I really am dead tired.” I reach for his hand and let him lead me back upstairs to my room.

  “I’m going to take a quick shower and I’ll meet you in bed.” I noticed him swallow hard and grin. This wasn’t going to be as easy as he thought it would be.

  “Sure,” he said, “but hurry up because I like to snuggle.” I groan and walk into my bathroom and shut the door. This was going to be a long night.

  I think I broke the record for the fastest shower ever. One part of me worried that he would come and join me, and the other worried when he didn’t. I did want to sleep with him, but now I wanted more. I brushed my wet hair out and rubbed my coconut lotion all over my body. We would just have to see how he acted when I joined him in my bed.

  When I step back into my room, I hear the soft sound of snoring and laugh. He really was tired and had fallen asleep sitting up against the headboard. His chest was bare and the cover was pulled to his waist. I wonder if he had on boxers or briefs? I tip toed to my side of the bed and pulled the covers back and climbed in.

  God he was so beautiful and I just wanted to stare at him. I wanted to rub my hands all over his chest and kiss every little scar I could see. Pulling the covers back, I did glance underneath. Darn, he wears briefs. Smiling, I gently wake him. “Lay down with me.” He never opened his eyes as he turned toward me and scooted down in the bed. I turn my back to his chest and he pulls me closer spooning his body to mine. I didn’t think I could fall asleep like this, but before I knew it I was out.

  I was in the school gym in one of the back closets. We kept paint there for the cheerleaders to make spirit signs for school. Everyone had left after practice, but I was meeting Molly and Reed for dinner so I needed to waste some time. I thought I would make some posters for the upcoming first game. We were just sophomores and JT was going to be starting as quarterback and I was so proud of him. The closet was actually large enough that I could sit down and paint there.

  I heard a knock at the door and looked up and he was standing there. “Hey.” I smiled up at him. Molly was right, he did have the prettiest eyes. “What are you still doing here?” I asked him when he walked into the closet and closed the door and locked it. Later I would realize that I didn’t even question him locking the door. He squatted down next to me and raised his hand and brushed the hair out of my eyes. I jerked back. He had touched me before. Brief grazes against my arm in the hallways. Nothing improper just little brushes here and there, but didn’t he do that with everyone?

  “James, you don’t have to pretend with me anymore baby. I know what you want and we don’t have to tell JT” What was he talking about? His eyes didn’t look friendly anymore. In fact they looked hard and something gleamed in them. Want? Need? Lust? Hate? I jump up and in a second he lunged and had my arms pinned above my body in one hand and I was flat against the floor. His other covered my mouth and his body lay heavy on top of mine.

  “Shut up James, nobody is going to hear you. It’s just you in me in the gym. The entire football team is on the field practicing and everyone else is gone. You knew this was coming. I’m just going to get a little taste of what you give JT all the time. Just a little taste.”

  His breathing was becoming heavy. “I’m going to move my hand and if you scream I’m going to hit you. If someone was to find us, they’re not going to believe you Jay. They’re going to believe me. Everyone can see how you flaunt your shit all around school. You are such a fucking cock tease.” He moved his hand away from my mouth and I was too paralyzed with fear to say anything or move. He flipped my t-shirt above my chest and covered my face leaving it there. He undid my bra clasp and bit down on my nipple roughly. I cried out in pain.

  “Shut the fuck up and don’t make a sound.” He did the same to the other and I bit my lip to hold the cry back. He pulled my shorts and panties down. “Sweet Jesus Jay. I bet you make JT want to come every time he looks at your naked little body.” He moved my arms down to either side of me.

  Suddenly, the fight and flight instinct took over and I tried to fight him off. I raised my arms and started hitting him and I tr
ied to buck his body off. He squeezed my arms harshly and started to shake my body against the floor. My head snapped back against the concrete and pain radiated through my body. My vision wavered and the shirt over my face had come down. His face was twisted not in pain, but in a sick pleasure. He was loving this.

  “Fight me. I want you to.” My body felt so heavy and I was so tired. My stomach started to turn and I could feel vomit rise in the back of my throat. His hands roamed lower grabbing my legs and squeezing hard. He leaned back and pulled his shorts down then he leaned forward and reared over me. One quick thrust into me and I screamed from the pain. “Shit.” He looked down at me and laughed covering my mouth again with his hand. “Guess JT wasn’t getting it after all.” He began moving and the pain was unbearable. My vision blurred and I let the darkness take me away.

  Hands shook my body, bringing me wide awake. “Wake up Jay. It is okay baby, I’m here.” Kane’s voice whispers over my soft cries. My face was buried in his chest and he kissed the top of my head as his arms strokes my back comforting me. I snuggle closer and let myself be carried back to sleep feeling safe.

  Chapter 6

  The sun streamed through my bedroom windows, softy lighting his face as he lay next to me. His features were so strong, but in the soft light they were so beautiful. We were facing each other with his hands wrapped around my waist. Kane slept so peacefully and that peace spread to me. I haven’t felt this way in a long time.

  I lean forward and lightly kiss the tip of his nose. The sides of his mouth lift upward into a smile and his eyes flutter open their green orbs still sleepy from his slumber. “Hi,” he whispers.

  “Hi back.” I say and grin. We stare at each other for minutes. He raises his hand from my waist and his finger outlines my face. I close my eyes just enjoying the moment.

  My mind goes back to last night and I realize that he’s the first to hold me after a nightmare. Normally when I have that particular dream I don’t go back to sleep and my mind refuses to shut down. It plays over and over in my head, but last night he held me and I went back to sleep in his arms feeling safe, loved and maybe even cherished.

  With my eyes still closed I feel his lips trace the same outline his finger traced. I feel a tear squeeze out of my left eye and glide down my cheek. His lips capture it and drink it away. “Please don’t cry,” he begs. I open my eyes and look into his concerned ones.

  “It’s a happy tear,” my voice chokes back. He brings his lips back to mine and our gazes lock as he kisses me. He pulls back first.

  “I can wait for you Jay. My body hurts for yours, but I’ll wait for you.” I move towards his lips again, wanting him to know that I’m ready for him. I am ready for us. Against my mouth he whispers, “Not yet. You’re getting there. I want you mind, body and soul. Do you understand what I am saying Jay?”

  Staring into his eyes, I do understand. What is between us is more than just now, and it scares me to death and I pull back.

  “I guess I need to get dressed for school.” Sitting up, I don’t answer his question. He will not pressure me now and I know this. Walking into my bathroom, I begin to brush my teeth. Within minutes, he is standing next to me reaching for my toothbrush. He rinses it and applies more toothpaste, I watch as he brushes his teeth, staring at his reflection in the mirror the whole time. He finally rinses his mouth and turns to me.

  “Do you want me to come back tonight and stay?” The question catches me off guard for a minute.

  “Do you want to?” I ask, realizing that I do want him to come back. He looks at me and nods his head yes.

  “Yes, I want to sleep next to you. Plus I hate the idea that you are here alone.” I smile at him. “Okay, my turn to cook you dinner tonight.” He leans in and kisses my cheek and smiles back at me. “See you tonight babe,” he says and walks away.

  I thought of that smile all morning as I dressed and left for school. Kane wants more from me than just my body or one night. The strangest part for me is that I want to give it to him. He makes me want a future. He makes me want to let the past go, but how am I supposed to do that when all of the sudden everyone from my past wants the truth. I hate the saying that “the truth can set you free”. The truth can’t set you free. It can fuck my future fifty ways to Sunday. In my mind the horror has already happened and no one can take it back. Having the whole school, my friends and family know will only make everything worse.

  I park my car and get out. I see Molly and Reed walking toward me with Molly practically dragging him behind her. She is grinning from ear to ear, but Reed looks leery of me. Can’t really say I blame him

  As Molly finally approaches me, she lets go of him and grabs me around my neck and hugs me. I look up and then smile at Reed.

  “I guess Hell finally froze over, huh?” He asked, but at the same time steps up and wraps his arms around Molly and me. We all laugh. Moments later, when we finally all pull back, Molly smiles at me as she reaches for Reed’s hand.

  “I told Reed about our talk last night. We want things the way they were.” Molly said.

  Reed looks at me and says, “We’ve missed you Jay. I agree that we just go forward from here and enjoy our senior year together.”

  “That works for me. I love you guys and I’ve really missed you.” I lean forward and kiss both of their cheeks. We link arms and head into school talking about nothing important, but suddenly it means everything to me.

  I finally make it to first period and Cal is sending me that big grin of his. “What are you smiling at?” I can’t help but ask and smile back at him.

  “Looks like someone is finally removing that gigantic stick out of her ass and moving on,” he answers. I know he’s being funny and I roll my eyes at him. Though, of course he had to ruin the moment and continues, “Have you thought about coming out to support JT on Friday?” I shake my head no to him and I turn away.

  The day flies by. I sat with Molly and Reed during lunch and it was like the last two years never happened. They didn’t push for answers and we didn’t talk about JT. We talked about their relationship, the future and of course Molly wanted to know everything about Kane. I think I smiled and laughed more today than I have in years.

  Reed noticed Rhye staring at me during lunch. “Ok Jay, I have to ask this. What the hell is up with you and Rhye? Dude is staring you up like you are his last supper. I’ve noticed him doing this for a while. What gives?”

  My eyes follow Reed’s to see Rhye sitting across the lunchroom watching me. When he knows he has my attention he stands and nods his head and walks out the door. I turn back to Reed and Molly.

  “Just a mess I created for myself. I don’t think he’s used to a girl not falling all over him.” Neither one of them have anything to say to that.

  At the end of the day, the final bell rings and I meet up again with Molly and Reed walking out to the parking lot. “Just like old times,” Molly says and smiles at me and I have to agree. “Do you want to go have pizza with Reed and me tonight?”

  “I really would Mols, but Kane is cooking dinner for me.” I know I can’t keep the grin off my face and she laughs.

  “Ah, young love. I can forgive you for that. How about tomorrow we go downtown dancing? Reed and I haven’t went out to a club in forever and you can bring MacHottie with you.”

  Laughing back at her I say, “I’ll ask him, but either way it’s a date.”

  We get to my car and Molly notices before I do what’s waiting for me on my car. I see the slip of white paper and this time a single red flower is with it. My stomach instantly turns and I feel the blood leave my face. My body freezes.

  “Ooh, someone has a love note.” I watch as Molly grabs the note and opens it before I can say or do anything. Glancing at Reed I notice that he is watching me. His eyes grow as he sees the panic in mine. Too late to unfreeze myself and grab the note from Molly I hear her gasp.

  “What the hell is this Jay?” Molly looks upset and Reed steps to grab the note from her while I g
rab it from Molly before he can. I open it to read and my body shakes with fury.

  I think it’s about time for round two. I can’t wait to take that tight little body again. I’m coming for you. Will you fight me again or just let me have it this time?

  Reed jerks the paper from my hands and reads it. I’m too ashamed and mad to say anything. “What is this Jay?” He yells at me and continues. “How long has Rhye been bothering you with this shit?” My head jerks toward his. “How long as he been stalking you and leaving these notes?” I guess he noticed the surprise on my face. His voice lowers and he asks, “Are they even from him or someone else?”

  Grabbing the note back from him I look at them both and shove it in my front pocket.

  “It’s just his sick and twisted way of getting to me. It just threw me for a second.” I smile the biggest fake smile I could. “He’s an asshole. We send these stupid notes back and forth. It’s just a twisted game between us.”