Ruining Me Page 3

  Satan wasn’t ugly. I had always been taught in church that he was the most beautiful Angel and even in my dreams I realized this. The women started humming what sounded like a lullaby. Their distorted stomachs moving with little hands stretching from the inside of their bellies. I felt his hand start to touch my stomach and I grab it to push him away. He looks down at me and says, “Why James, I just want to feel our baby. See how he reaches for his Daddy?” I look down and a little hand was pushing up from the inside of my stomach and I start to scream.

  I wake with my scream vibrating off the wall. Damn, I hadn’t had a nightmare in months. Damn, damn, damn. I lay back down. Normally I don’t dream again once I wake up. My thoughts didn’t slow down for quite awhile, but finally I drift back to sleep.

  The next morning I stood drinking coffee in the kitchen when I remembered all the text from the day before. I grab my phone to check them. Mostly all of them were from Jill except the last one. It was from a number I didn’t recognize, which I assumed after reading the text that it was Kane’s.

  Jill – Can you please let me know what to do with HIM???? He wants your number.

  Jill – What did you do to this guy? He will not leave me alone.

  Jill – CALL ME

  569-423-1277 - You can’t run. Meet me at O’Malley’s tom night at 9. Were u going to tell me that candy rots your teeth?? Is that what they say about candy??? J

  I actually laugh at his text. God he’s such a jackass, but he’s a hot one. I program his number in my phone and reach for my keys on the counter and hurry to school. Running late, I pull into the parking lot and hurry inside.

  The warning bell rings just as I walk into the school. Not looking where I’m going I run right into Rhye. He grabs my waist and pulls me toward him.

  “Slow down Jay. You don’t want to get hurt.” One dark eye winks at me and his jet black hair falls across one eye.

  “Really Rhye? Get your hands off of me.” I turn out of his grasp and walk away. I hear his parting reply.

  “I like when you play hard to get. It only makes me want you more.”

  I didn’t even glance back and choose to ignore him.

  The morning passed and lunch period arrived. I needed to run out to my car and get my phone because I had left it charging this morning. As I walk out of the school doors, Coach Branch was walking in. He had been the offensive line coach and head baseball coach since I was a freshman. Back then he was just out of college. He was loved at our school and thought of as a hero because our offensive linemen rated at the top in the State and we had won the State Championship in baseball for our division every year since he started. Needless to say our little community thought he walked on water. Plus all the girls loved him and considered him a cutie. He had thick brown wavy hair and brown eyes that stood out with a baby face. He was pretty short and stocky for a guy. His southern accent was thick at times. I had heard his wife was his college girlfriend and had met her several times at school functions in the past. She was gorgeous and had seemed nice at the time.

  “Well Miss Stevenson, where are you headed,” he asked? I was stunned for a moment. He started to smile and say something else when Miss Kell my Art teacher also walked in behind him. Coach Branch looked at her and shook his head as if he was nodding her to walk by us. Miss Kell stopped and looked between us and finally at me.

  “James are you okay? You look like you don’t feel good.”

  My eyes shift between them both.

  “Um, I left something in my car and was going to get it, but actually I don’t need it.”

  I turn swiftly around and almost sprint down the hallway. Running into the girls bathroom I barely make it to the toilet before I start dry heaving. Ten minutes later I wash my mouth out with some water and head for my next class.

  Art was my fifth period class and Miss Kell asked me again if I was okay and I just nod assuring her I was. This was the class that I have with Molly and Reed. We all used to spend a lot of our time drawing when we were little. In fact I’m pretty sure that Reed got into some fancy art school up north. I knew Molly was headed to the University of Georgia.

  We received our assignment and I started painting a stormy beach scene. After a while I notice Molly and Reed laughing and joking with each other. Molly was smiling at something he had painted. At that moment she looks up and sees me staring at her and suddenly looks down at her painting frowning. Reed grabbed her hand and whispered something in her ear and then he looked up at me. Raising my brush, I started painting again. I had already let them go, but it never got any easier. Every day was a reminder. Finally the bell rings for the end of class.

  My last period was gym and I rush into the locker room to change into my shorts and a tee. We were working out today with Coach Sanders the head football coach. The school has a huge weight lifting and workout room. I was just going to do some light weight lifting for toning because I like keeping my body in shape and making the most of my strength. In the corner, the guys were seeing who could bench the most and the girls were inflating their already oversized egos by standing around them and cheering.

  I had just lifted a dumbbell behind my head to work my triceps when I felt someone pulling down on the weight behind me. Looking forward into the mirror in front of me I notice JT standing there.

  “Did you just see me bench 325?”

  JT had on athletic shorts and a ripped t-shirt. He has grown so much these past two years. When did this boy become a man? I didn’t turn around and kept staring in the mirror attempting to finish my set.

  “I figured you had enough fans,” I huffed out. He narrowed his eyes. I did not push him away for the last couple of years to go back there again. “Go away JT before your girlfriend gets mad.” I just wanted him to walk away, but I haven’t been that lucky lately.

  “So I heard that you cooked for Cal last night. Are you screwing my best friend now?”

  I brought the weight back over my head and to my chest. Turning to glare at him as I said, “What the hell JT? Is that what Cal said?” I pretty much knew Cal would never say that, but I had to ask.

  “No, Cal didn’t say anything. I just heard that he told a couple of the guys that he had dinner at your house last night.” He lowered his voice almost to a whisper and said, “I just can’t stand the thought okay. Not Cal, not anybody. I need to talk with you. I think we can work things out. Jay, I just need.”

  I jumped and dropped the weight on his toe before he could finish his sentence.

  “Fuck!” He yelled and everyone turned and stared. I took off for the locker room and hurried to put my clothes on finishing getting dressed right as the bell rung.

  I sprinted out to the parking lot before anyone else could just happen to run into me. Of course another message was on my car so I yanked it off my windshield and threw it to the ground. My eyes look up and I watch JT hauling ass across the parking lot. I hurried and got in my car and left, looking in the rear view mirror to see him standing in the middle of the parking lot. My life sucks.

  At home, I showered first and finally checked to see if I had any text messages.

  Rhye - call me…band playing tonite at 10 at the Vortex want u there

  I deleted it immediately and read the other ones.

  Jill - Call me. What happened with Kane?

  MOM – Dad and I are flying back from Cali tomorrow. Let me know if you need anything. Love ya.

  Cal – Everything okay with you and JT???

  I decided to call Jill back right then. She picked up on the first ring and before I could even say anything she started talking.

  “I am so sorry Jay. He grabbed my phone and just got your number. Damn, Baby Girl, what did you do to him? I swear both of your eyes couldn’t take in each other fast enough and there was so much electricity that my hair stood on end. Then all of a sudden you’re gone and he’s asking me a million and one questions, but I swear I didn’t tell him anything. I kept saying that I would talk with you first, but when
you didn’t text me back immediately he made me start calling and when I still didn’t hear from you he just took my phone.”

  “It’s okay Jill. He sent me a text about meeting him there tonight. Look you know how much I hang out at the bar and I think a one night stand with him could make things difficult with him being an employee.”

  “No offense Jay, but the vibes I had from you both didn’t feel like one night stand vibes. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t totally throw caution to the wind and jump into bed with him, but I’m not sure that is all it is. Jay, I get you situation. You are young and believe me, if I knew in my own youth what I know now I would have been a serious player. You don’t want anything serious, but I’m not sure that what I saw and felt yesterday will go away for either of you.”

  I groaned into the phone, “I know Jill, that’s why I am not going to meet him tonight. Please don’t say anything though. I’m hoping he’ll get the hint. I don’t think he will take no for an answer.”

  Jill laughed and I’m pretty sure she murmured, “Good luck with that.” I told her I would see her sometime next week and we hung up.

  Around seven o’clock I started thinking about Kane. I’m not kidding myself and knew that if I didn’t show up he would probably have a bimbo in the wings waiting. Not ever being the type to wait around on a guy myself, I decided to get dressed and head downtown. I slip on a pair of tight jeans and a black sexy off the shoulder shirt. The shiny black heels that I bought last week complete my look. I brush out my hair and spray some perfume.

  The drive took a little longer because of traffic. When I left I wasn’t exactly sure where I was going. I didn’t want to go to O’Malley’s because that is where Kane would be and Rhye would be at Vortex. There were several more bars downtown, but those two were my favorites. I decided on Vortex and I didn’t want to think too hard on why.

  I found a parking space at Vortex and flipped my ID to the bouncer outside. He stamped my hand with an “over 21” stamp. The bar used to be an old warehouse that was converted to a large room. The stage is on one side and the bar on the other. In between are tables and booths and a small dance floor in front of the stage. Until the band goes on they have rock music playing overhead.

  Since it was eight o’clock it was still early, Rhye’s band, “The Mavs”, wouldn’t go on until ten. For now, I knew that the band would be in the corner hanging out in their booth. The guys in the band are older than Rhye and me, but I had gotten to know them when I dated him before. When I walked in I see a good number of people already hanging out.

  Walking directly to the bar I did not look to see if Rhye was around. The bartender was a different girl who I didn’t know. She looked at my hand stamp to verify my age.

  “What can I get you to drink?”

  “Vodka and cranberry juice please.”

  She fixes my drink and I hand over money for the cocktail plus a great tip. My mouth puckers as I take a sip of the stout drink.

  “Thanks,” I say and turn around. A couple of cute guys were checking me out, but all I could think about were vibrant green eyes and that tattoo on the side of Kane’s neck. I should have read it, because now it’s driving me crazy just thinking about it. The stool next to me was pushed back as someone steps up next to me at the bar.

  “Well, well if it isn’t Jay.”

  I turn to that voice that still makes my body come alive. Rhye was smiling at me. His eyes were a little glassy, but I could tell he was still lucid. He looks over my body and his gaze lingers on my breast a little longer than the rest.

  “I’m just here for the music Rhye. Not to be your fuck buddy.” I take a sip of my drink and glance at the people starting to move on the dance floor. Flyleaf’s “Something I Can Never Have”, starts to play. He grabs my drink and sets it back on the bar so he can reach for my hand.

  “Come dance with me Jay?” His question caught me off guard. Rhye never liked to dance unless he was totally out of it.

  “I didn’t think you danced?” I was curious as to what his answer would be, but he didn’t say anything.

  He pulled me to the dance floor and straight into his arms, moving his body fluidly against mine. I’m stunned for a second, because he has learned a few moves since we were last together. My hips rock against his and I follow his lead letting the music take over. He sings the song gently in my ear and I close my eyes praying my knees will not give out.

  Towards the end of the song, warm lips touch my shoulder. The first song turns into the second and it was a slower rock ballad. I was already lost in dancing with him. This is what he always offered me, a chance to forget everything. Both of his hands move down my body and grip my hips.

  “Tell me what it will take Jay?” His voice whispers in my ear. “I want you.” His lips rub back and forth against my neck.

  I raise my face and his dark eyes bore into mine. We stop moving and I shake my head at him. This was a mistake. Rhye must have guessed that I was going to pull away because in that moment he captured my mouth with his. His lips were hard against me and he nipped at my upper lip when I didn’t open up. I jerk away from him.

  “Damn it Rhye,” I shout at him and break away from his grip so I can walk away. Heading straight to the bar, I order a beer. When I turn back around he is gone. I glance in the direction of his booth and see he is sitting with the band, staring at me. He knows if he pushes me, I will leave and for some reason he wants me to stay to hear him sing.

  At about fifteen after nine my phone buzzed with a text.

  Kane - Where R U

  Ignoring it, I slip my phone back into my jeans pocket and take a drink of my beer.

  The next hour passes pretty quickly. Rhye never tries to talk to me anymore. A couple of the guys in the band did walk over to say, “Hi,” but that was it. The bar started to fill up the closer it was time for the guys to go onstage.

  When Rhye walked out on the stage everyone went crazy. He has so much charisma that it really did light the stage up. He waved his arms downward to try and silence the crowd.

  “Hey Guys. Glad you all could join us at the V tonight. You want to hear us play some music?” The crowd screams for them. The first two songs must have been new because I didn’t recognize them. Right before he started the second one he hushed the crowd.

  “Okay this next one I wrote about a girl that I can’t get out of my mind. I know you guys know what I’m talking about.” I swore he said it directly to me as he looked across the crowd.

  The guitar started playing a slow melody and his first words stunned me. Rhye closed his eyes and begins singing.

  “Her eyes haunt me when I close mine

  I can’t imagine what secrets they hold

  But if she’ll give me just one moment

  I will remove all that pain from her soul.

  I was careless when I held her

  If I could do it all just once more

  I won’t make the same mistake

  And let her walk out the door.

  So it’s your voice that I hear

  And it’s all in my head

  And it’s your pain that I feel

  But you’re not here instead

  I want to take it all away

  Take it all away

  Take it all away”

  I didn’t stay to hear him finish, I just walked out of the bar. He was talking about me and I knew it. How dare he write that song. I don’t want a song about me. Angrily I walk to my car and drove home. He cheated on me the rat bastard. How could he?

  By the time I arrive home it was about eleven o’clock. I was too wound up to sleep so I decide to watch a chick flick. Something with Channing Tatum so I coulc forget all the in-real-life eye candy I have to deal with. I threw on my Juicy sweat pants and tank top. Nights like this, when I really need someone to talk to, I really miss Molly and Reed. I almost pick up the phone and call Molly, but I’m pretty sure she would just hang up on me.

  Several minutes into the movie I decide to
run down to the kitchen to get a drink when I hear the sound of a motorcycle. Mr. Mounts our next door neighbor must be going through one of his Harley phases again. A couple of minutes later the doorbell rings. It’s almost eleven thirty and I’m not sure who would be coming by this late.

  Our front door is all beveled glass except for the center circular window which is clear. As I walk to open it I notice Kane looking at me. He was wearing a black leather jacket and he looks pretty pissed. I turn the alarm off and open the door. Leaning against the frame not allowing him to enter, I cross my arms. He doesn’t say anything at first just stares at my face and then slowly he sweeps his gaze downward. My body lights up like a circuit board. God, I just ache looking at him. I’m instantly swamped with need and I notice his nose flare out. It seems like I’m not the only one affected.

  “It’s late and I’d love to know how you found out where I live?”